Me and Ryan discussing the new 5FDP song and the 4 Tiers of Metal Songs
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ME:
Dude, wanna have an eargasm?
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RYAN:
Sure.
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ME:
*plays song*
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RYAN:
HO MAN WHAT IS THIS
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ME:
Told ya' it was good
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RYAN:
This isn't real. This is too good to be real.
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ME:
Dude, I know. Had it on repeat for days.
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RYAN:
Like...I refuse to believe this is real.
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ME:
It's fucking perfect. It's a rare PERFECT metal song.
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RYAN:
Alright, I'm about to give you some tiers for metal songs.
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ME:
Go for it.
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RYAN:
A band alone, not featuring anyone = 4th tier
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ME:
Word
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RYAN:
Featuring a popular artist of a "good" band = 3rd tier
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ME:
Makes sense.
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RYAN:
2nd tier is a song feat. a well known member of the genre like...
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ME:
...Device feat. Serj Tankian?
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RYAN:
Good enough. I couldn't think of one.
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ME:
That's why I'm here.
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RYAN:
Now, we get to tier 1, where you have somehow managed to please the gods and they have so graciously given you the GODFATHER OF YOUR FUCKING GENRE TO SING ON YOUR ALBUM...YOU HAVE DEFIED ALL THE ODDS AND MANAGED TO HAVE A GOD HIMSELF SING WITH YOU...EVEN HAVING HIM IN THE STUDIO BESTOWS YOU WITH WONDER...HE WALKS IN WITH A BAG OF DONUTS AND YOU FUCKING KNOW THEY'RE GONNA BE THE BEST FUCKING DONUTS YOU EVER HAD BECAUSE THEY'RE FROM MOTHER FUCKING ROB HALFORD.
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ME:
.....................
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RYAN:
.....................
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ME:
.....................
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RYAN:
.....................
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ME:
.....................you know this is going on Tumblr, right?
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RYAN:
I expected as much.
