Adults Acting Like Children

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Me and Ryan discussing the new 5FDP song and the 4 Tiers of Metal Songs

ME:

Dude, wanna have an eargasm?
RYAN:

Sure.
ME:

*plays song*
RYAN:

HO MAN WHAT IS THIS
ME:

Told ya' it was good
RYAN:

This isn't real. This is too good to be real.
ME:

Dude, I know. Had it on repeat for days.
RYAN:

Like...I refuse to believe this is real.
ME:

It's fucking perfect. It's a rare PERFECT metal song.
RYAN:

Alright, I'm about to give you some tiers for metal songs.
ME:

Go for it.
RYAN:

A band alone, not featuring anyone = 4th tier
ME:

Word
RYAN:

Featuring a popular artist of a "good" band = 3rd tier
ME:

Makes sense.
RYAN:

2nd tier is a song feat. a well known member of the genre like...
ME:

...Device feat. Serj Tankian?
RYAN:

Good enough. I couldn't think of one.
ME:

That's why I'm here.
RYAN:

Now, we get to tier 1, where you have somehow managed to please the gods and they have so graciously given you the GODFATHER OF YOUR FUCKING GENRE TO SING ON YOUR ALBUM...YOU HAVE DEFIED ALL THE ODDS AND MANAGED TO HAVE A GOD HIMSELF SING WITH YOU...EVEN HAVING HIM IN THE STUDIO BESTOWS YOU WITH WONDER...HE WALKS IN WITH A BAG OF DONUTS AND YOU FUCKING KNOW THEY'RE GONNA BE THE BEST FUCKING DONUTS YOU EVER HAD BECAUSE THEY'RE FROM MOTHER FUCKING ROB HALFORD.
ME:

.....................
RYAN:

.....................
ME:

.....................
RYAN:

.....................
ME:

.....................you know this is going on Tumblr, right?
RYAN:

I expected as much.

THROWBACK THURSDAYS

So I have my dorm to myself for the rest of the week.

Someone should come over and keep my company.

And by keep me company I mean we should cuddle and kiss and do other things of a biblical nature.

Plz?

Tomorrow is going to be one of the most emotional nights of my life.

It’s my last broadcast ever on XLR Lander University.

We’re doing a grand send-off for “Zero Hour” with special in-studio guests, call-ins from around the country, and the best 3 hours playlist I have ever created in my 6 years of working in radio.

And at the end of it all, a heart-felt speech from me that will, I promise you leave me in tears.

And, like David Tennant in his last episode of Doctor Who, I’ll find myself walking around my big blue home, thinking of all my friends and fond memories, and with tears in my eyes I’ll pause, look around and mutter…